Forwarding of e-mails is one of the topics I get contacted about the most. And, one which also causes hurt feelings and misunderstandings more than any other topic. Daily, e-mails flow in from onliners asking about a “nice way” of telling someone they care about, relative, friend or associate to not forward attachments, chain e-mails, political commentary or the jokes that are so prevalent online.
Netizens are afraid to ask others to stop and those who are asked to stop, no matter how nicely, get offended and feel as though their thoughtfulness is not appreciated. But let’s think about this a moment. How really thoughtful is it to click the forward arrow, then a bunch of e-mail addresses and hit send? Well, your brain had to “think” about those steps but does that make the effort truly “thoughtful.” I don’t think so…
Here are the 5 Rules of Forwarding E-mails that those who are being truly thoughtful follow. If everyone followed them all the problems associated with forwarded e-mails could be avoided. Sticking to these guidelines will assist both those thinking they are thoughtful and those who don’t want to appear otherwise:
- Don’t forward anything without editing out all the forwarding >>>>, e-mail addresses, headers and commentary from all the other forwarders. Don’t make folks look amongst all the gobbly-gook to see what it is you thought was worth forwarding. If you must forward, only forward the actual “guts” or content of the e-mail that you are of the opinion is valuable. Check out this neato free program to help you out: Email Stripper.
- If you cannot take the time to write a personal comment at the top of your forwarded e-mail to the person you are sending to - then you shouldn’t forward it at all.
- Think carefully about if what you are forwarding will be of value (accurate information — check for hoaxes @ Snopes.com), appreciated (something the recipient needs) or humorous (do they have the same sense of humor as you do) to the person on the other side. Or do you just think it is worthy? If you cannot think of why the person you are forwarding to would like to receive the e-mail - then don’t forward it.
- It should go without saying (But I have to say it because folks do so anyway.) that forwarding of chain letters; regardless how noble the topic may seem, virus warnings or anything that says “forward to everyone you know” simply shouldn’t be forwarded because in most cases it is plain old B.S. (again check before forwarding @ Snopes.com). E-mail is e-mail–there is no chain to break or continue–no cause or effect whether you do or not. Also, the fact is not all commentary will be appreciated by the other side if they have a different viewpoint than you do–be very careful here.
- If you must forward to more than one person, put your e-mail address in the TO: field and all the others you are sending to in the BCC field to protect their e-mail address from being published to those they do not know. This is a serious privacy issue! Do not perpetuate a breech of privacy started by other forwarders who included their contact’s addresses in the To: or Cc: field by continuing to forward those visible addresses to your contacts! Remove any e-mail addresses in the body of the e-mail that have been forwarded by those who brush off the privacy of their friends and associates.
The above 5 rules will help qualify if an e-mail is worth forwarding and the right way to do so if it is. If one cannot make these extra efforts, then they really have no excuse to get mad or have hurt feelings when asked to stop. And if asked to stop forwarding, don’t get mad; just realize the person on the other side certainly has the right to make that request.
At the end of the day, if you fear hurting someone’s feelings by asking them to stop forwarding you e-mail, know they probably meant well, were really thinking of you, were trying to make a point - ahhh, just hit delete!
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Do you show a blatant disregard for your contact’s privacy? How would you feel if your contacts whether business or personal, decided to take your phone number and give it out to strangers? Stranger’s who you don’t know! Strangers who may use your phone number to contact you about something you’re not interested in or worse yet, who may sell your phone number to telemarketing companies to do the same.
The same thing happens with e-mail addresses every single day. We’ve all had this happen to us and it’s not O.K. Each day we receive messages or forwarded e-mail from well intentioned onliners listing all those they are sending to in the To: field. And by doing so they are visibly displaying their contact’s e-mail addresses to strangers!
If you do this and are thinking “no big deal” you are so wrong! If the only thing all the folks you are sending to have in common is you, you have breached your contact’s privacy by publicizing their e-mails to people they don’t know. Talk about showing a complete disregard for their privacy not to mention your lack of tech savvy!
Whenever you are sending to a group of onliners, put your e-mail address in the To: field and everyone else’s in the Bcc: field and protect their e-mail addresses from unnecessary exposure. Through my e-mail etiquette site, www.NetManners.com, I get inquires on a daily basis from folks who have been on the receiving end of such e-mail and there are two issues they ask me about:
- How do I let this person know I don’t appreciate them publicizing my e-mail address to people I don’t know? What were they thinking!?
- Is it O.K. to e-mail all the other people whose address is in the To: field along with mine about my business or service?
So as you can see, your contacts not only do not appreciate their e-mail addresses being made public without their permission but there are those that assume they can then spam those addresses because they are visible! By not respecting your contact’s privacy you are in fact opening them up to additional unwanted e-mail.
Part of this problem is the Bcc: is not in your face with some programs. In some cases it isn’t easy to find and you have to search for the Bcc: option. I use Eudora where the Bcc: field is visible just waiting for you to put in e-mail addresses. However, for other software and Web based sites, here is what you do:
First, start a new message, then:
- In Outlook, if Bcc: isn’t showing, create a message, and from the View menu, click Bcc: Field.
- In Outlook Express, click View >All Headers.
- In Netscape, click the TO: button, then double-click Bcc:.
- In AOL, put the Bcc: addresses in the “Copy To” box, using parentheses and separating each address with a comma.
- In Yahoo!, click Add Bcc:.
- Bcc on Mac mail: Open a new email. In the bottom left of the title block is the Customize button. a menu opens, click on “Bcc Address Field”. This will appear on all future e-mails.
- Seamonkey: Click on the “To:” button and highlight “Bcc”.
The Bcc: feature should be used when e-mailing a bunch of onliners who don’t know each other because you don’t want to publish other’s e-mail addresses without their permission.
Show you “get it” and respect your contact’s privacy! Wherever Bcc: may hide, find it and use it!
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Down-editing your e-mail is a necessary skill that adds to clarity in your communications and helps avoid misunderstandings. In addition, responding point by point to those who e-mail you also shows consideration for their time and your command of technology.
It is a skill that is developed over time - by doing. By editing your e-mail properly, you can leave that oh-so-important professional impression with those new business contacts who will be determining what it will be like to do business and communicate with you via e-mail. Since most onliners are anemic in this area - you will shine by making these simple efforts!
The first thing to remember is to never just hit Reply and start typing. Once you hit Reply, and type a courteous greeting, you should remove any part of the e-mail you are responding to that is not necessary to the clarity of the ongoing conversation. This includes e-mail headers (all that server and routing info at the top of some e-mail) and signature files. Here are some additional quick tips to help you on your way!
- The best way to edit properly is to hold your left mouse button down and drag it over the text you want removed then hit delete.
- Hit your enter key twice to put a line space between where you will type your response and the text you are replying to above. Then type your comments as it relates to the content above.
- Continue to do the same as the e-mail continues. Remove what doesn’t matter, leave what does, hit enter twice and type your reply.
- What I do when I have removed a good bit of text is to type “” after a substantial deletion. This lets the other party know that I did in fact read that paragraph or portion of text but that either I have no comments specifically related to that area of the email or that none are required.
- E-mail becomes very difficult to follow when you start adding all the back and forth >>>>s. Make a habit of starting a new email after >>> are in the return. At that point most likely updating the SUBJECT: to better reflect the direction of the conversation will be in order as well. These efforts help avoid misunderstandings due to all the back and forth. Check out this neato free program to help you out: Email Stripper.
- When replying to an ongoing series of e-mail where the SUBJECT: doesn’t change, do what I do to keep your copies in order. Type “REPLY:” before the SUBJECT: field’s content. Then as the back and forth continues type: REPLY [2], REPLY [3], REPLY [4], etc. This is a great way to have the order of the entire conversation visible at a glance while allowing your e-mail folders to keep the conversation in that order when sorted by SUBJECT:.
Integrating these steps when replying to e-mail can help keep your conversations on track and easier for all to read. Besides, by setting a proper example others can learn from you which is how most online learn new things.
Now, in my book, that’s as good a reason as any to get into the habit of down-editing your e-mails. Why not start today?
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