Accusations Without Understanding?

One thing I always make a point of doing when I don’t understand something or if an issue seems wrong, incorrect, a problem or “broken” is to double-check that my actions or lack of knowledge is not leading to an incorrect perception.

I know I don’t know everything. I know there are things out there that I can learn about — and do almost every day. What amazes me however, is how many onliners jump to point fingers and make accusations based on wrong assumptions. Nor do they give a thought to the fact that the issue at hand could be due to their lack of knowledge, experience, information or understanding.

What is ironic is that these are generally folks who are way techno-challenged, make no effort to increase their knowledge base or skill set and are placing blame where there is none - due to not having an understanding in regard to the complexity, processes or background issues involved in the online arena. They have their uninformed view and everything needs to fit in that little box or look out! And if they are the “customer” then they are always right, aren’t they?

Why such a nasty and accusatory tone right out the gate? Why not ask for clarification? Why are we assuming that there is wrong-doing or that something nefarious is going on? Because of frustration their evil twin has taken over! Frustration is no excuse to become nasty or libelous.

You will find that if you were to simply ask for clarification in regard to a concern, in most cases you would receive a response that would address the issue in detail to your satisfaction. No need to make accusations that simply are not true — without looking at your ability to understand the reality and intricacy of the issue(s) at hand.

When I have a question or concern, I ask kindly for clarification — with humility. I could have missed something, misunderstood or simply may not be aware of details that had an effect on the issue of concern. Or, the other side could have made a simple mistake that is easily resolved. That’s how you learn and build strong relationships — buy asking — not accusing.

I never assume the other side is out to ruin my day, rip me off, have screwed up, or unethical in how they do business. Nor do I feel the need to lecture them about how they should do business before I have all the facts. And if I do find I am mistaken, I always, always, do not hesitate to humbly apologize. On the flip-side, rarely do I receive that courtesy when informing onliners that their perceptions are incorrect while explaining what is really at play. No thank yous, no “oh, I see — sorry for the trouble.”

The moral to the story is, if you believe something is amiss — simply e-mail with courtesy and ask for assistance in a respectful tone. You may find you not only had jumped to conclusions but you may learn something new and save face in the process.

At your service,
Judith