The past several days I’ve been working on getting a new directory script I tripped upon up and running. The script is one of the better directory scripts I’ve run into (and I’ve played with tons of them) but I still had to learn how it worked to know what I could and couldn’t tweak and to customize it to my liking. I also ran into several issues that I had to go to the support forums and dig for answers to determine what was up and test and tune so to speak.

I know what I know — and whenever I work on a new script or application, I am made aware of how much I don’t know. I guess that has what has kept this fun for me — the whole playing with new things, coming across problems, facing them head on and resolving them. By doing so I am constantly learning something new. In the past 48 hours I learned all kinds of new details in regard to PHP, .htaccess files, MySQL databases and Apache servers. How exhilarating!

Unfortunately, I don’t run into many who approach learning new things as I do. Many tend to “tune out” the moment they run into something that they don’t quite understand why it isn’t working as they perceived it should. While others will trivialize the complexity of the issue by making comments that it’s easy “but I just don’t have time to tackle that right now.” That let’s me know they know what they don’t know — they just don’t want to admit it.

I tripped on a post today titled: Acknowledge What You Don’t Know

Give it a read and then…. don’t trivialize not knowing, don’t try to hide behind other excuses as to why you don’t know — just don’t know. And that’s A.O.K!

At your service,
Judith

One thing I always make a point of doing when I don’t understand something or if an issue seems wrong, incorrect, a problem or “broken” is to double-check that my actions or lack of knowledge is not leading to an incorrect perception.

I know I don’t know everything. I know there are things out there that I can learn about — and do almost every day. What amazes me however, is how many onliners jump to point fingers and make accusations based on wrong assumptions. Nor do they give a thought to the fact that the issue at hand could be due to their lack of knowledge, experience, information or understanding.

What is ironic is that these are generally folks who are way techno-challenged, make no effort to increase their knowledge base or skill set and are placing blame where there is none - due to not having an understanding in regard to the complexity, processes or background issues involved in the online arena. They have their uninformed view and everything needs to fit in that little box or look out! And if they are the “customer” then they are always right, aren’t they?

Why such a nasty and accusatory tone right out the gate? Why not ask for clarification? Why are we assuming that there is wrong-doing or that something nefarious is going on? Because of frustration their evil twin has taken over! Frustration is no excuse to become nasty or libelous.

You will find that if you were to simply ask for clarification in regard to a concern, in most cases you would receive a response that would address the issue in detail to your satisfaction. No need to make accusations that simply are not true — without looking at your ability to understand the reality and intricacy of the issue(s) at hand.

When I have a question or concern, I ask kindly for clarification — with humility. I could have missed something, misunderstood or simply may not be aware of details that had an effect on the issue of concern. Or, the other side could have made a simple mistake that is easily resolved. That’s how you learn and build strong relationships — buy asking — not accusing.

I never assume the other side is out to ruin my day, rip me off, have screwed up, or unethical in how they do business. Nor do I feel the need to lecture them about how they should do business before I have all the facts. And if I do find I am mistaken, I always, always, do not hesitate to humbly apologize. On the flip-side, rarely do I receive that courtesy when informing onliners that their perceptions are incorrect while explaining what is really at play. No thank yous, no “oh, I see — sorry for the trouble.”

The moral to the story is, if you believe something is amiss — simply e-mail with courtesy and ask for assistance in a respectful tone. You may find you not only had jumped to conclusions but you may learn something new and save face in the process.

At your service,
Judith